Food For Thought and Fatness

It should not come as a surprise to anyone that I have a major thing for food. Like looooove love.Sweet love. Comforting love.Passionate love.At times even obsessed love. Just as how all true love should be.But it always has been on par with fashion and things. I loooove things too. Wanting things. Buying things. Wearing things .Those two right there, food and fashion, have been the greater occupations of my not-so-lengthy-BUT-feels-like-a-hundred-years life.It's this very same affection for these two great loves of mine that has given birth to constant altercation in my mind between having yum or looking yum.
Up until a few months ago, i'd say both positions were equal winners (or equal losers; depends which glass-looking variety you are) but now I feel one side emerging stronger.

Food.

Why do i say that? well in the last month, month and a half or so i've had about 4-5 opportunities to ask people to bring my stuff from various places in the world; namely-Dubai, Toronto, Montreal and New York. Between these four places, i could have pretty much asked for whatever my heart and whims desired.We're talking jackets,moleskin notebooks, tops, and shoes. Shoes especially are the easiest go to, please-get items for me. One can never have enough of them, and there can never ever be enough to the number i fall in love with regularly. At least that is how it always was. This time around though, I don't know know what is was, whether it was the constant dressing up for weddings which has left me feeling no excitement for what i shall wear on so and so day, or whether Zara offered too many of those flat, masculine, pointy black boots that I just can't say yes to. Whatever the case maybe it seemed my heart, and whims only desired food. For everyone coming I had one and ONLY one request: please bring me food.

Was i being starved by my family? Had we fallen on hard times? by God's amazing grace, no and no.

Yet I asked for food. Goat's cheese. Choco-almond croissants. Frozen dinner rolls (seriously?). Caramel Kisses. Double-stuf oreos (hello, obesity!). Chocos- the cereal that is only available in the Middle East, with no phoney pretences of being all fibrey and healthy.

Excuse me a moment for freaking out but WHAT IS THAT? Have i turned into a pig and not even realized it? Am i the new-age cookie monster? Am i in some sort of depression that i do not even know about that? Am i masking feelings of insecurity and i dunno whatever other feelings that need to be masked by gorging on the yums? Houston, do we have a problem?

 To be honest when I realized this a few days ago, i actually felt a little good about it. I fathomed myself to be on the road towards asceticism.You know...worldly things be damned, simple wanderer life style,peace and contentment, buddha style and all that jazz.  However, as i found myself perched cross-legged (buddha stye!) on the kitchen counter at 5 am eating a carb-laden choco-almond croissant for no good reason, i realized i wasn't on the path to becoming less worldly, rather, i was on the path to becoming more fleshy- or as you and I commonly refer it- a moti bhains (TA).

Who in their right minds, and sensibly sized jeans asks for food when somebody is coming bahir se? and even if you do, it's only as a last-minute, get if you can, i.e i don't really want it, but lets be greedy still, kinda way. Not like me: 'please, please, please, get me goat's cheese' as though my life's joy depended on it (Which it did and amazingly enough, of the three people I asked for this, not a single one got it for me. And its the only thing i truly wanted. Its also the only thing with lots of protein in it and is not a representative of foods to avoid on an average day).

Thus this crazy person rant. Perhaps its good, because for the first time i felt like writing here in months, so perhaps it's pushed me out of my block, and maybe i'll write more. But lets face it, none of these two-bit silver linings can ever be a good enough excuse to be a you-know-what. 

I'd love to say  that i have come back to my social senses and all the above mentioned food items are now up for grabs so get in touch if interested, but sadly- that is not to happen. I cannot in good consciousness discard presents brought by loved ones from such great distances. Which also means,i ain't in no mood to part with them, and am still have every intention to eat. BUT slowly. Over a spans of months (God willing). With lots of elliptical and fasting in between(God extra-willing). Let's just hope that my reigning love is kind to me and my jeans (God extra,extra,willing).

How the mighty have fallen - Betty is fat?!

If Mad Men was looking for a shocker, well they gave it to us straight early on in the season, and as an indicator of the fact the more shockers will be coming soon, Joan in the third (fourth) episode dumps her self-esteem issued, rapist husband. What does this mean?
Of the two, people are decidedly more focused on Fat Betty. Yes that is what she is known as now, even online that's all I see: fat Betty this , fat Betty that- and I think maybe that was the point. Just imagine, for us as viewers , Betty isn't Betty anymore, the adjective has become a necessary addition to the name, as though old Betty cannot be mistaken for Fat Betty.
Lets get something clear, people are thoroughly enjoying this new plot line. Betty's transformation is a disgusting , but wildly interesting perversion that everyone seems to want more of. Its sadistically entertaining to see a person with a once hot bod become a fatty.Especially if the hot bod is considered one of the worst TV moms ever.

We are introduced to Betty's 'change' at the start of the second episode with  Sally tugging at Betty's zip trying to make it close. We've all been in that position so lets not pretend we don't know what it feels like. It sucks. And to see Betty in the position- it was morbidly fascinating. What had they done to her?especially when the next scene is that of that ho Megan being easily zipped into her dress by Don. 
What had the world come to?
When did Betty become that? Whyy? How? Did she even like food? we had barely ever seen her eat.
Well that changed in this episode.

Betty being fat is a HUGE deal.
The thing is, it seems, that the only redeeming quality about Betty was her unquestionable, can't-take-my-eyes-of-you beauty. Also, a great sense of style. Like I remember last year when I saw all four seasons in a row I desperately wanted to channel second season Betty in her equestrian outfits with capes. I desperately wanted the cape.I made the mother get me the leggings with thigh suede insets.  Her face, with any kind of makeup (and without) was just gorgeous. On Derby day, when Roger has recently married his secretary Jane- Betty looked out of this world gorgeous, while she was very pregnant. She's just one of those girls. Every time somebody discusses what a bitch Betty is, its quickly followed by- but she's gorgeous/beautiful/blah. They just can't help it. Her seriously psycho behavior does not put a speck on her beauty.
Having said that, with Betty being fat and all, her character has become irredeemable. As sad as that is, but its like the one thing she had in the world, her only edge, her only saving grace isn't there anymore.The shows writers are absolutely brutal to the character. Up till now (in the season), I just feel sympathetic towards fat Betty.

Towards the end of her plot line in the second episode we see that on some level she wouldn't have minded the cancer, so the issue of her being fat could be sidelined.She desperately wants to blame her condition (being fat) on someone or something- because that's what Betty does best- shift the blame. This one she doesn't have anything to blame it on too. Plus, it must be horrible to deal with,knowing how smokin' you were just a few months ago and now you're ashamed to be naked in front of your husband (who clearly still adores her and doesn't care). Will Betty be nice now that she is fat? I doubt it. We see the way she behaves with her MIL, and how when her husband is trying to console her about how it doesn't matter to him, she replies in a  straight,monotonous tone  " your mothers obese". Betty may have lost the edge in her looks, and in her tone of voice, but she is still as spoilt,selfish and whiny as ever. She just doesn't look as  good whining now.
The thing is , Betty has always felt this unbearable emptiness in her life.That is how we have been introduced to her since the very first season. That something is amiss. At some point I think she just doesn't know how to be happy. And as detestable as she is in the way she treats her children in season 4, you pity that her existence is like that of a hollow shell. Its like she is empty- and we don't know why, and I think even she doesn't know why, and perhaps now she has been trying to fill that emptiness up with food. She's not the first person to do it, and certainly not the last. In the last scene of that episode when we see Betty eating away the sundae alone in her kitchen, and seemingly very content in the activity. Betty has always felt to some degree, isolated from everyone else around her, and we have seen this urge in her to connect with someone on a deeper level-to have a confidante who she isn't afraid of being judged by, and it seems that she has found that confidante in food.
At some point you just wanna know, why is she so unhappy.What are the reason for her many miseries ?
The worst part is that during some scenes you actually get that she doesn't need a reason, its just how she is, and how people can be .  


Anyway, am looking forward to seeing Betty in a different light and seeing how her style will be evolutionized for this season,  given the weight gain and all.Maybe we'll see soem great plus size fashion


My favorite Betty looks:

Give Paula Deen a Break

For the past few days Ive been seeing Paula Deen's name splashed around almost everywhere.
I knew she was a celebrity chef type, but not much else. Not that familiar with the style of her work, and her views on food. Apparently she got type 2 diabetes. I dont know the types of diabetes so I cant help you there, but Im guessing type 2 is worse than type 1. Anyway, so from what I have gathered by just headlines of the coverage she has gotten recently : she cooked fatty stuff. Apparently she hid her being diagnosed with diabetes for the past few years(3), and she has chosen to disclose this piece of information at the very fortunate time of her becoming a spokesman for a diabetes maintenance type medication.

Critics, bloggers, do-gooders, over-neurotic control freaks, health freaks, people who put their nose in everyone's business,Shahrukh Khan types (not Shahrukh in Don 2 though, he's delightful) are having a field day with this info because all of  a sudden Paula Deen has become the champion of obesity,and all obesity related health issues by acquiring the disease herself. If you can call it a 'disease', I can't because a lot of my family members have had it, and frankly it doesn't seem too horrendous; there are worse inflictions;- my friend is allergic to everything under the sun almost except vegetables, what do we think about that?. Khair, that's not to say anything, I understand I am being quite ignorant about it. In any case, I do feel you can't hold her responsible for this. She has made a successful career of making extremely fatty concoctions, that are pure sin for the consumers- but in her defense (not really) -she does advocate moderation. And that is the key for good health- everything in moderation. Her recipes are so grotesque and gluttonous that you don don't need to be super intelligent to realize that you can't indulge in them too much. I mean you need to be having serious emotional issues if you do decide to consumer a Lady's Brunch Burger on a daily or even weekly basis. Its one of those rare indulgences that you allow yourself if the occasion calls for it. Extreme happiness (you becoming  a millionaire overnight) or extreme sadness ( you losing every material possession you ever acquired) in which the extremity of the 'burger' seems inconsequentially minuscule. Or if you're in one of those, this-will-never-happen-again, I-will-never-be-here-again moments.You can't have it everyday for brunch.Who has brunch everyday? why don't those people work?

The Lady's Brunch Burger:Krispy Kreme Donuts, Burger Patty, Bacon, Fried eggs.

Plus, most of her food makes me feel full without even eating it. They really are horribly over the top, like if your mission is just to consume the calories and the taste comes second. Sum of all parts type. How could deep fried lasagna be any better than normal un-fried lasagna ?A good lasagna is decadent enough in itself for maximum yummy. If it needs to be fried, it hasn't been made properly.Its that simple. Then she has a sandwich which comprises of chicken finger, french fries, and mozzarella sticks. You know that there is something wrong with that. That is what you make at 3am in the morning if your maaad hungry, you can think of nothing else to make other than sandwich of everything your freezer, you have danced way too much, and indulged in God knows what else. Its not food you think of making on a Tuesday night while watching TV. If you do...hmmm.Let's not go there.
But to urge and demand Paula Deen to shape up her act, and take a complete different direction in her profession is asking too much. I mean why should she? Why does she owe anybody anything? It is after all her profession, its up to her to decide what she wants to do with it. Her popularity and subsequent success is based on her southern style cooking, where the most prevalent term is the cuisine is 'deep fry everything'. Let her be. Mind your business. Focus on your own professions. If people work, its usually to serve their own means first, and those of the others second.If they choose to be irresponsible about their own health that should not reflect on their professions,because lets face it , she never sold her cookbooks, or recipes by saying that they are 'healthy'. In fact she is quite commonly known as the butter queen. As they say in bio-medical ethics; the right to self determination. In the same way, the people who make/consume Deen-esque meals on a regular basis, are responsible for their own selves. Its like blaming the weapon instead of the murderer.
Please don't spoonfeed your/our psyches so much that you/we cannot be held accountable for any decision or action. Its called 'spoilt'.
Don't be spoilt.

And, hold on , wait a sec...what is this, she 'hid' her disease for three years. Its her personal life, its her body, she didn't swear upon God to share every detail of her life with you. No matter what position you are in some information deserves to be revealed entirely upon  her discretion. And why should she share with you if you will end up being so unbelievably critical.
Ainween.Over

Gay Men Dont Get Fat

Simon Doonan is the creative ambassador at large of Barneys New York, which is possibly as cool as one can be in this life. I'm not sure what his exact job description would be, but I'm pretty it allows for him to roam about Barneys acting like he's the Queen with impossible sartorial sense, which I guess is what most of us aspire to in our meagre lives. Haina?

So today I came across a promo article about a recent book of his, Gay Men Don't Get Fat, which is an obvious play on a similarly titled book from 2005- French Women Don't Get Fat.  Doonan is apparently gayer then Christmas, which you can imagine is a source of unimaginable delight for me, as he might just end up being a real-life Jack. And you know about my boundless love for Jack, obviously.

I haven't read the book , yet, so can't offer you any wisdom there, but I've read some quotes and excerpts, and they truly are gems of the english language.

On Macarons

The gayest food has gotta be macarons. If you lived on macarons you’d explode in a nuclear cloud of gayness.

I can’t believe any red-blooded straight guy can even walk into a macaron shop. If you wanted to ruin a politician’s career, just publish a picture of him shopping for macarons 

Fun right? And I totally agree with what he has to take about being photographed. Seriously.

We live in an age where photo documentation is not just part of life, it is life. Any and all social gatherings are relentlessly filmed and YouTubed and snapped and Facebooked to the point where people do not even feel they exist unless somebody is lensing the moment.

Why are we doing this to ourselves? Cameras are not our friends. Photographs are brutal and unkind. They ricochet images in which we look three times fatter than we thought we were.

Once I have read the book , will share all sorts of fun quotes about it, but I think you should read it too. Have been reading real meaningful books, now am in the mood for the something light and frivolous. 
The first book of a new year should always be sunny.

Eat Your Heart Out!

If you woke up today with the aim that you will start controlling what you eat  a little bit, or perhaps stop eating all the crap that you do, or that your going to go on a strict detox etc etc....I want you to get up, and get the worst crime to your body and eat it. Whatever it is.
Like today I woke up wanting to have this chocolate biscuit with my chai, so I thought I'd take it to work,  but then thought, spare yourself  and so didn't get it.Should've, because today is a day of celebration.
As far as I can remember, I've been hearing, seeing, told that the skinnier you are the better you look;clothes look better on skinnies. And to a large extent that's true, I mean I've seen it for my own self, so why lie and act like its propaganda. However, there is a faction that believes women look better with some meat on their bones,(and mind you, this faction has staunch supporters as well) but these are mostly guys, and we all know girls dress up for other girls. So we are back to square one.  My personal stance is that while  women look better with meat, clothes look better with bones. Its just a matter of choice which type of girl you'd rather be (and whether you like food)
I'm not saying clothes look fugly on non-skinnies, of course they don't, in fact some pieces look great with curves (bustiers, hello!, pencil-skirts, hello!), but if you do a general statistical analysis, if your skinny, chances are almost anything will look good on you. Whereas if your non skinny, some clothes might look offensive, and you might look ready to pop.
Today, however, is the day of days. I have found the first real evidence, that might prove the claim that even clothes (gasp) might look better on non-skinnies. I feel like a scientist.Yes, yes!  and its not one of those, matter of opinion thingies, this is as in your face it will get. Its obvious where the dress looks better. Okay, lemme show.

 Exhibit A:

You remember this Cushnie et Ochs collection I put up a lil while back? Well one of the dresses from the collection (my favorite dress actually), is featured in the SS 2012 ad campaign as well, and a bones and skin model is featured in the campaign whereas on the runway the model was more curvaceous and filled out. Non-skinny wins obviously, the dress looks so blah on the skinny, kinda like its going to fall off due to lack of support.With the curvy, you can't take your eyes off her, and you'd turn around to watch her go, haina?
Yay! Victory!
So after seeing the campaign, I went down to the coffee shop and got a brownie. I know. Horrifyingly maniacal behavior, and convinced one of my colleagues who had been controlling her diet for the past week to duck it. I showed her the evidence,Exhibit A, proving that skinny women do not look better, and hence she don't need to diet no more. Colleague is now eternally in my debt as I  renewed her self esteem,  which was evident through the multiple thank yous I got for ' giving her confidence back', and best of all, she ate half of my brownie, much to my relief (because I'm not eating the entire thing, that would be blasphemy).

So, if you agree, eat something fun today, and get back to doubting yourself tomorrow.

Au Pain Dore

 I'm hungry.
Since I can't do anything about it because lunch isn't for another two hours- I'm just going to write about food to stave off my hunger. I know, that doesn't work and talking about food usually makes people more hungry- but somehow it makes me me feel more satiated. Weird I know. Its like I get full off of my food memories.

I love, love good bread, and cheese. I know,  I'm walking on the road to obesity (God forbid) - but I could live on that stuff. Bread, cheese and olives. I remember Provigo used to have the best white bread loaf- hard, crusty exterior, but soooooo soft from the inside. I'd ending up digging a well out of it.Really. I believe I got a lot of people hooked on just plain bread with nothing. Its through this great love I have for  bread that I found a home in Au Pain Dore and  discovered Choco-Amandes.

Au Pain Dore is a boulangerie chain and one of Canada's greatest treasures.No kidding. Although its not available all over Canada, just Montreal and the greater Quebec region, I still think its one of Canada's greatest national assets. Like if it were up to me, I'd put the logo on a coin or the flip side of the flag.
It specializes in the art of french bread making and has hands down the best variety of breads. The greatest thing about them is that they try different techniques, different ingredients and combinations for their breads. Like sun-dried tomatoes, pesto and green olives focaccia in a cinnamon bun  shaped roll. Its fantastic, and oh the smell when you enter the shop. So good.So warm. So friendly. The olive focaccia would literally melt in your mouth. I don't think I've ever experienced a bread so rich in flavors. To be honest, that wasn't really  a bread. You could very easily heat it up and have it for dinner. Just that. Just look at it.

Looks great na? One day, while waiting to pay for my little piece of heaven , I tried what seemed like a croissant-ish thing on their tester plate. Tasted good.Took another little sliver. Tasted real, real good. I asked the salesgirl to give me one of whatever that  was. While paying, I asked  her what the tester thingy was (by this time I had had like 4-5 tester thingies), she said "Choco-Amandes" .I was horrified.Disgusted at my ability to actually like something that had almond in it (amande=almond). Now I don't hate almonds,  I actually like having them on their own, but I just don't think they have a place in my meetha. I payed and left. While walking home I made up my mind to throw the choco-amande crap away and to not consume any of it. I must be mistaken. The salesgirl must be mistaken. I can't like anything almondy. I fished out the paper bag containing the choco-amande croissant and took a bite. Heaven . Buttery croissant, with bitter chocolate and a warm ,sweet syrup that oozed out with every bite.It was unlike anything I had ever tasted before and it was absolutely amazing. I couldn't throw it away. Within the two blocks between Au Pain Dore and my apartment I had finished almost all of it-if I ate it fast enough I could make myself forget that it ever happened. It was a one time thing. I'd never venture back into the dark ,dark hole of choco-amandes.How could I be associated with almond breakfast pastries? I didn't even like fruit danishes.
In my world it was the greatest crime ever committed.
But I couldn't stop fantasizing about the taste of it long after I had finished it.It was a bit like love at first sight. Or bite. I confessed to my sister that very night that I had tasted something spectacular that had almond paste in it. She ridiculed me at first, but I was quick to remind her that she too, loved pecan pie - which again was a nut family meetha. I made her try it the very next day. She loved it, I think, or she grew to love it. The last time we were in Montreal she antagonized me for not getting them everyday, and questioned the authenticity of my love for them.I made my friends try it- they professed that they had never expected something so good to come out of something consisting of almonds. I guess we all learned that we should let our guard down a bit more. Try new things, new people.A spiritual epiphany in the shape of a croissant. That's how good it was. Now I try to be not so quick to judge because it made me realize that I have no idea what I may grow to like.Or love.

Every time that I have been to Montreal after that, I have one everyday (almost) for breakfast- I don't care about how fattening it is, because there is nowhere else in the word I'd be able to have it. If anybody goes to Montreal, you must try it. Its in various locations all over. The easiest one for tourists would be the downtown location- on Peel and Catherine, right behind American Eagle. You will thank me.