Food For Thought and Fatness

It should not come as a surprise to anyone that I have a major thing for food. Like looooove love.Sweet love. Comforting love.Passionate love.At times even obsessed love. Just as how all true love should be.But it always has been on par with fashion and things. I loooove things too. Wanting things. Buying things. Wearing things .Those two right there, food and fashion, have been the greater occupations of my not-so-lengthy-BUT-feels-like-a-hundred-years life.It's this very same affection for these two great loves of mine that has given birth to constant altercation in my mind between having yum or looking yum.
Up until a few months ago, i'd say both positions were equal winners (or equal losers; depends which glass-looking variety you are) but now I feel one side emerging stronger.

Food.

Why do i say that? well in the last month, month and a half or so i've had about 4-5 opportunities to ask people to bring my stuff from various places in the world; namely-Dubai, Toronto, Montreal and New York. Between these four places, i could have pretty much asked for whatever my heart and whims desired.We're talking jackets,moleskin notebooks, tops, and shoes. Shoes especially are the easiest go to, please-get items for me. One can never have enough of them, and there can never ever be enough to the number i fall in love with regularly. At least that is how it always was. This time around though, I don't know know what is was, whether it was the constant dressing up for weddings which has left me feeling no excitement for what i shall wear on so and so day, or whether Zara offered too many of those flat, masculine, pointy black boots that I just can't say yes to. Whatever the case maybe it seemed my heart, and whims only desired food. For everyone coming I had one and ONLY one request: please bring me food.

Was i being starved by my family? Had we fallen on hard times? by God's amazing grace, no and no.

Yet I asked for food. Goat's cheese. Choco-almond croissants. Frozen dinner rolls (seriously?). Caramel Kisses. Double-stuf oreos (hello, obesity!). Chocos- the cereal that is only available in the Middle East, with no phoney pretences of being all fibrey and healthy.

Excuse me a moment for freaking out but WHAT IS THAT? Have i turned into a pig and not even realized it? Am i the new-age cookie monster? Am i in some sort of depression that i do not even know about that? Am i masking feelings of insecurity and i dunno whatever other feelings that need to be masked by gorging on the yums? Houston, do we have a problem?

 To be honest when I realized this a few days ago, i actually felt a little good about it. I fathomed myself to be on the road towards asceticism.You know...worldly things be damned, simple wanderer life style,peace and contentment, buddha style and all that jazz.  However, as i found myself perched cross-legged (buddha stye!) on the kitchen counter at 5 am eating a carb-laden choco-almond croissant for no good reason, i realized i wasn't on the path to becoming less worldly, rather, i was on the path to becoming more fleshy- or as you and I commonly refer it- a moti bhains (TA).

Who in their right minds, and sensibly sized jeans asks for food when somebody is coming bahir se? and even if you do, it's only as a last-minute, get if you can, i.e i don't really want it, but lets be greedy still, kinda way. Not like me: 'please, please, please, get me goat's cheese' as though my life's joy depended on it (Which it did and amazingly enough, of the three people I asked for this, not a single one got it for me. And its the only thing i truly wanted. Its also the only thing with lots of protein in it and is not a representative of foods to avoid on an average day).

Thus this crazy person rant. Perhaps its good, because for the first time i felt like writing here in months, so perhaps it's pushed me out of my block, and maybe i'll write more. But lets face it, none of these two-bit silver linings can ever be a good enough excuse to be a you-know-what. 

I'd love to say  that i have come back to my social senses and all the above mentioned food items are now up for grabs so get in touch if interested, but sadly- that is not to happen. I cannot in good consciousness discard presents brought by loved ones from such great distances. Which also means,i ain't in no mood to part with them, and am still have every intention to eat. BUT slowly. Over a spans of months (God willing). With lots of elliptical and fasting in between(God extra-willing). Let's just hope that my reigning love is kind to me and my jeans (God extra,extra,willing).