Tuesday, 28 February 2012

I'm Here To Snake Your Drain

Love the ad. Its about a drain cleaner and they've managed to make it pervy cos sex sells, but whats really interesting is that they have managed to make it very tongue-in-cheek. Its almost a satirical play on 'sex sells' itself, because the vein it will follow is so predictable and the woman in the commercial is brilliantly campy. When she shuts the door, and opens her hair, and some of the hair gets stuck to her lips (as is possible in real life) makes you realise that this a deliberate attempt to be sexy, and thus not sexy in the way 'sex sells' intends to be. You know what I mean? 
Also, what ridiculously good looking plumbers/produce /supermarket guys.

Monday, 27 February 2012

No Skinny Man Has an Ounce of Sex Appeal

I found the craziest vintage ads today while looking for something completely not related to vintage ads. You gotta love the randomness of Google image search.

The power of the media, how it talks to us, cajoles us, converts us is inherently Luciferian.Its something I talk about time and time again.Media, coupled with the advent and unspeakable progress of technology, the unnavigable expanse of the  internet, human beings have come very close to becoming experimentation rats/hamsters/other animals that belong in this category.Our opinions reflect what we are being told to think by opinion makers. I have almost bi-weekly epiphanies regarding this issue that result to panic attacks since I've never wanted to be a rat.I'm an 88 born. 88 borns are Dragons, 87 borns are Rats. I ain't no rat.

Anyway, moving on, (sorry for the lecture but it is necessary for me to keep going back to it) apparently being skinny in the late 30s was close to being a leper. Howw eird na? Today you are a leper for being the opposite of that.

I remember when I was younger I exclusively  liked only skinny guys.Of course  not tooo too skinny ( I have an example in my office, if you start staring at him its hard to stop- his ability to walk around without snapping limbs is a constant source of amazement ), but not much flesh or muscle worked.
It was pretty easy to develop crushes back in the day due to this, since boys are barely buff during their teenage years. Pot bellies usually strike in college, never to return form where they came from. There was no real reason for this, but in retrospect it probably had to do something with leaner boys looking taller than the not-so-leans.Then I grew up, and realized acha, no, I didn't love skinny as much and some poundage went  a long way, and so the preference passed.
What I'm trying to tell you is that at one point they were the preference, they were the type. So the ads that I came across were really amusing, because,seemingly the guys in the olden times were being fed a serious case of insecurity. Like look at them, becharay-the ads are downright horrid, and so misleading. Imagine 10 year olds reading them. Having said that it refreshing to see boys having body complexes, or rather being targeted for body complexes. Otherwise its just us girls.
I must confess thought that I love that the ads are so anti-skinny. It seems comical that they were printed in all seriousness at any point in the same world we live in. How times change.
Seems so out of place in the world we live in now na? even for guys? yes, guys are told to be buff, but their self esteem isn't metaphorically stoned to death for lacking some chubs (its called muscle). Infact, some fashion you see these days is made just for skinny boys like skinny jeans ( hint hint non-skinny boys)

 So what does all this mean?
It means that real sex appeal can only be accounted through diligently checking the scale and pumping iron, and reading books.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Magical Marchesa-II

 Marchesa is under fire. Just FYI you know.
There are a few sites that I've recently started browsing and man they hate Marchesa! why?? I mean I usually think that the dresses are fabulous. Just look at the liquid gold one below, its pretty special. The bodice fits like a dream and the rose like gathering on the hip is pretty interesting as well. The negaters say that most of Marchesa's gowns are heavily inspired by elaborate night wear, and well one of the pieces below definitely looks like that, but at the same time most of their gowns show great craftsmanship and artistry. Yes, maybe they are too puffy and princessy for some to like, but that still does not justify the amount of hate and anger its haters seem to feel at its designs.I know, I know, it seems pretty mean spirited to have such negative introduction to a beautiful collection (at least I think so), and introductions by nature are so supposed to be lavished with praise and all that, but I just wanted you guys to feel the same way as I did when seeing the collection. I wanted you to keep in mind as well that a lot of people seem to think that Marchesa pulls really gimmicky stuff each and every time for its collection and if knowing that changes the way you see the collection Weirdly enough I don't. the only pissing of thing about Marchesa is that you know Blake Lively will wear it like its her own closet. Annoying.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Michael Kors f/w 2012: Fur, Plaid and Red Galore

As mentioned before, Michael Kors was lovely.Inspired by 30's glamour and sport-chic the collection was very glam,winter-in-our-cabin-in Aspen type. The fur was delicious beyond belief time and space. The looks were very Kate Moss in my opinion- they were well put together, but non-chalant at the same time. The whole attitude was very laissez-faire, which I loved.
How gorgeous is the red?

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Fall Fashion Weeks 2012

Obviously you know that fall fashion weeks have been taking place. First, as custom, it was New York, and now its London's turn.Also Wills India Fashion Week has also been taking place.Next should be Paris/ Milan so on so forth/
Since I am only human, and not too fabulous these days when it comes to blogging (sinusy, bored and reading) , I cannot possibly post about every show, or every show I even like. Somehow I haven't been moved to write about any of them , even though have appreciated quite a few.

The one that caught me most off -guard uptil now is Michael Kors. Ive never considered him to be a real powerhouse when its comes to fashion since his designs tend to be too American- i.e, nothing jaw dropping- also possibly because he appears on Project Runway, and how dedicated can a designer be if he has been appearing regularly  on reality television for years? But his fall 2012 collection was wonderful, wonderful. Yes it lacked all the fantasicalness that makes me say yeh hui na baat in typical Indian joint family member fashion , but honestly I kinda appreciated it because some shows are so OTT in their drama, that the clothes just end up getting lost in the concept. He actually made me want to wear plaid- something that I have avoided like the plague up til lnow.He made me want to wear red, something that I have considered a cheap trick ever since it became bigger than its own good back in 2000. No mean feat. And the fur...mouth watering. Thank God I am not an animal enthusiast, or anti-fur/vegan.
Apparently after this show, Micheal Kors company's shares had risen by 27 percent.I get it.
Btw, not to be a snitch or anything but the red MK has used is dangerously close to Valentino's red. Myabe its that our eyes have been thirst for that red, since the team at Valentino has forgotten about it.

Marchesa, ever so loyal to its own self, was angelic, ethereal, lace, tulle, chiffon, and dream like. Angel like purity and innocence mixed with royal embellishments and detailing. Contrasting with MK, which is really, for every woman- and people can find occasions to wear those pieces (like everyday), Marchesa collection was something that most of us morals can only dream of wearing, and that too only once. Having said that, it doesn't take away from the fact that they were undeniably gorgeous.All the while I was cursing Blake Lively because I know she'll  be wearing the best ones in shorter versions. Btw, I totally condone being a gold digger/ or being a Saudi/Arab prince's fourth wife if it means you will get the occasions and the cash for such finery. Should totally go for it.

Naeem Khan is one designer I really look forward to, time and over again. First I love that he has made it big in an international market ( um...Michella Obama wore him), and I love spotting the desiness in his collections. His fall collection was inspired by the bindi- which is literally a dot. The bindi personifies many  things in Inidan/Hindu culture, none of which are my concerns abhi, but his materialization of the concept in his collection is beautiful. Seriously. Yes in some places you think, who're you kidding bro its a polka dot, but at other time you see where the 'bindiess' comes in. Maybe I'm looking too much into it. In any case, I loved most of the collection. Obviously would love to wear, cannot wait to see who wears what at the Oscars- and I will kill someone if i don't see an appearance of the finishing number; It was made for goddesses, and the Oscars- it is wowww. I would've like to see some color. This collection is primarily black, and then a little bit white, and then some metallic- but NK, being an Indian and all can handle his colors really well. But maybe he wanted it to be more somber- since its fall/winter?

Cushnie et Ochs- are my recent interests, so wanted to see what they are upto. Apparently nothing very itnersting. The dresses, were figure hugging , curve enhancing with nips and cuts in appropriate/inappropriate places, and plastic surgeon type markings (apparently it is inspired by the movie The Skin I live In). Did I fall in love? No. Would I buy soemthing from there? perhaps, the dresses seem to have the potential to fit your body like a glove and transform you into a ________, and we all like to have the option to feel that way if the occasion/mood ever calls for it.

Prabal Gurung, also a recent interest wowed my mind like you cannot imagine in his spring 2012 RTW collection. The pants, the colour, the cut outs, the paint spills- it was a blessing. So obviously my expectations were quite high for PG f/w 2012. Obviously the moment you expect anything, you should also prepare yourself for disappointment because unfortunately that is just the way humans\ minds run. Its annoying.
In this collection,  PG went more black, and less bright. Obviously- since its fall.winter that is to be expected. I loved some of his silhouettes. I loves the bootleg pants with short dresses/tops. Ive been wanting that look to enter the scene for a while now, so it was a great pleasure to finally see it come. The print dresses in blue were lovely, the funnest and most unexpected item on the runway was the embellished sweatshirt which I must-must have, and towards the end the gowns ,in black and white with laser cut embellishments were just lovely. I read somewhere that the last pieces were too Tisci-inspired; maybe they were, but I love all things Tisci- so the more the merrier. This would probably be cheaper as well.Maybe I could afford it without having to become the fourth wife, so why not.

I'll be posting more pictures from the collections in the coming few days...these are just my preferences. 

Monday, 20 February 2012

Beautiful People is Blah

I spent my entire work day (well, there are still two hours remaining) reading one of my recent purchases form the liberty book fair (also located conveniently at my work place), and after starting and finishing the book in this duration, I am quite underwhelmed- A bit disappointed to be honest.
Beautiful People is written by Simon Doonan, you may remember me going positively nuts about him when I discovered him- he's fabulously gay, and is equipped with the best gay-accessory, a rasor sharp tongue and a flair for drama. Or at least that's what I thought. After reading the book, I've kinda been left high and dry.
I think my expectations from the book were just plain wrong. I found Doonan's book in the sale section, and I was over the moon to find anything Doonan at all in Lahore, let alone in the sale section as well. I expected it to be full of little quips and theatrics that I could perhaps lift and pass of as my own- like I do with Jack from Will and Grace. Yeah, no luck.
This was more of a anecdotal autobigraphy of Doonan himself and his family. Infact, you can't even call it an autobiography- more like a compilation of memorable people and occurrences in his life, especially his early and formative years,and his family- cute but not half as funny and cantputitdown-able as I thought it would be.Well okay, maybe I didn't expect it to be an addictive read- but I did think it would be funnier,sharper and much more entertaining.I feel nothing. Am glad to have finished the boo so I can start the others now.

I feel bad for being anything less than supportive of the book, I do- and honestly I did learn a bit from the book ( I found out what 'camp' is), but the disappointment of not writing even one thing down in my little dp is unexpected. Its been a while that I have read something that I haven't taken something away from.I think "Gay Men Don't Get Fat" will be much much better, but am backtracking from my intent to order it online (guilt!) Will probably read it in Chapters over a few days the next time I'm there.
If you are looking for a light read, go for this. Seriously. And Simon's childhood is indeed funny. Like actually funny.and brave He lives in a  nut-house, he is in awe of his mother- he was as he himself puts it pretty "common" , and obviously people have appreciated the book enough that it has been adapted into a series of the same name by BBC. So maybe I'm  just looking for Jack in every gay man accept of anyone else who is a little less-how shall I put it; camp. 
 (told you I learned a new word, even used it in a sentence)

Friday, 17 February 2012

Cosa's Custard is Heaven Inducing.

 I woke up today with a distinct memory of one of my favorite foods (Lahore edition) in my mouth.
Let me tell you first that it has been a while since that has happened.
Like a whiiilllle.
I can only substantiate that "while" by giving examples of other things that haven't happened in a while, but I'm not sure I want to delve into that right now. Or ever. I have taken a vow of positivity today, fresh early in the morning- and I cannot sway so early in my promise-ten minutes would be a new record low for vows that didn't last, and I ain't one to set records you know.
Anyway... so I woke up wanting to have custard from Cosa.
I know, I know its not half as indulgent or extravagant as other food loves of mine(actually that's a lie I don't have much love for extravagant foods, I love cheap, run of the mill fixes- most of the time).But trust me, this is as decadent and homey as anything will ever get.I promise you.
I first discovered the custard a long, long time ago- it used to be (still is) served with the Chocolate Bombe(or is it molten cake? I dunno, somehow we always have called it the chocolate bombe; not sure). My mother loves(/d ?)that dessert, and I guess so did the rest of us because whenever we'd go there,it was a for-sure order, no matter how stuffed we were. The CB is served in a gorgeous, yellow-white, thick pool of custard. After having the dessert about fifty times, I realized that I had no real feelings for the CB itself, but the custard was something that would make my shoe laces untie on their own. I started asking the waitstaff to get us extra custard with the dessert- and at many a times, the generous people would actually provide us with a bowlful of just custard. I am not proud or ashamed to admit that I had no trouble in finishing that bowl. It was pure fate;  I was predestined to surrender to custard with every last taste bud that dotted my tongue and never care about calories when consuming it, or even regret it after it was all had and done. Like any half-decent forbidden love, consequences that threatened to make themselves evident in the vague promise of the future did not hold a flame to the all encompassing, soul completing, gorgeously intoxicating thrills of the present.
Future be damned.
Heartbreak be damned.
Skinny jeans be damned.
Yes. It really is that good.
If you refuse to believe it, ask my friend KingKong. It changed her life.  She frequently names me as the single most influential person in her life  (and has thus given me the nickname "infy" ), due to the fact that I introduced her to the custard on a hot, bleak, summer day when all seemed lost.

What's so good about this particular custard? I don't know. Its probably that they use Vanilla Pod rather than fake extract.Tbh, I didn't have a custard and jelly filled childhood like most people- infact that ad of Rafhan Jelly/Custard which showed people having them together was positively revolting. Like seriously.As a kid, and a fat kid at that, there were very few desserts/food items that could turn me off- but that one did.Speaks volumes. So to me, custard is still a fairly new delicacy. Some others who have tried it compare it to Cerelac. I don't remember what cerelac tastes like, so can't comment much about that. But I swear to you, its like an explosion of happiness in your month.It is mind numbing, soul warming, joy-in-my-mouth, feel sooo good awesome. There is a word for it,  that people use time and over again for food which I abhor the use of in that regard, and so have taken a promise to never use it in terms of food (preferably only for the actual thing itself), but faced with the dilemma of describing this custard to you, I have never found a word more apt for the feeling it induces. I may even go so far as to say its the closest identical you will ever find to that feeling as a result of feeding. Since I take my promises to my own self  very seriously, I find myself incapable to use the word. But trust me. Its heaven inducing.

Just last week I made a few more of my friends try it. They swooned and oohed and aahed.Asked me how I discovered it. Told them I was a natural pioneer. There must be some truth to what I'm saying.
I usually go and ask them for just custard, not with the dessert or anything like that. Just plain custard. They will be happy to oblige Do it. Today.Drop some at mine.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Favourite Oversized Tees

We all have those days when something seems to be amiss; you can't exactly point the cause out, but you just know- that something is a bit loopy. Yes? you get it na? And then- you find your favorite t-shirt in the world, or former favorite t-shirt and immediately you think - there it is!! that's whats been missing.
Haina? That does happen na? it happened to me last night so I know this feeling is very real.
  I was going through old pictures and one of my favorite tees made an appearance, looking all pristine and new since at that point it had been newly bought. I looked at it with love and wondered where it was - it had been a while since I'd seen it last but not long enough that I could proclaim it lost and gone forever.
Oh well.
Next picture, next thought.
Later in the evening I was rummaging through my closet to find something else and guess what I find ? Yep, my former favorite tee which is now clawing its way in my heart to regain its lost title. It wont be hard. Plus its a good half a decade old now, so its reached the optimum level of softness; when it starts feeling like your own skin. I love that. It has stood the test of time well, and I guess so have I because it remains as loose, and non-constricting and non-threatening as ever.Almost.
Favorite tees; the ones you have worn for sleep, gym, classes sometimes all  for days till no end are at time the most comforting items of clothes any person can ever live to own. You know? They carry a sort of history with them. For example the tee that I'm wearing abhi- I look at it and can think of six different memorable incidents or conversations surrounding it. So the tee,mixed with countless conversations, memories, and of course, love are like giant hugs- especially if you wear them after a long time. And if you have lost weight since the last time, and they seem bigger and you feel smaller in them- even better. But the real moment that you you truly realize their worth is when you've spent the entire evening in a tight ,.blood constricting, bone crushing outfit which demands that you acknowledge its existence in every little step you take- like say, Veronica from Archie Comics and then you come home and change into an old,battered tee that  thrives in giving you comfort and asks for nothing in return except the silent love you emanate for it the moment you put it on and take your first proper breath in what seems like a lifetime.

These days my fav tee is a grey one, it huge and soft and very easy to break into.
My dream is to get my hands on a XXXL tee.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Flavor Trippin'

So I didn't know about this till a few days ago, but the coolest thing in the world has been common knowledge to atleast some residents of the world since the eighteenth century.
Apparently there is such a  thing as 'flavor tripping', and there are flavor tripping parties held pretty rampantly in the US, where people come - and well, trip out on flavors.
Flavor tripping? Well there is a miracle berry- that has been common knowledge to people in West Africa- that makes sour things taste sweet!. How cool na? Its soooo Willy Wonka its not even funny. I wonder if Roald Dahl knew about it when he wrote the story himself. I don't know what would be cooler. If he did or didn't. If he did, then it was a great starting point for his novel,and he pushed the concept to such great extents., that it made us think that everything in the book was pure fantasy .If not, then it means that things we think exist only in our imagination could very well be a part of reality, and we just don't know about them- yet.
Anyway coming back to the berry, it contains  a glycoprotein called Miraculin that binds itself to your taste buds and makes sour things taste sweet. How does it do that? Well the exact cause  is currently unknown, one theory is that miraculin works by distorting the shape of sweetness receptors so that they become responsive to acids, instead of sugar and other sweet things. The effect lasts for 15–60 minutes.
Apparently the effects are enthralling, people drink tabasco straight out of the bottle thinking it tastes like Doughnut Glaze. Yep Doughnut Glaze. Goat Cheese tastes like cheese cake. How fun is that?? Definitely worth a try. I'm really intrigued. Next time I'm in that part of the world I'm definitely going to get around to one of these parties.The berries are availableonline to buy (they're expensive), and are also available in tablet form (made from dehydrated berries) on amazon. Yeah! so its not like its illegal or anything ( come on, they are available on amazon!) Also supposed to be good for diabetics, and playing pranks on people.
I can't wait.
FYI- I tried ordering the tablets online, but they don't deliver outside of the US. How sucky. Can you imagine how easy it would be to be on a diet with this?