Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Please Breakup! Please!

 I'm sure everyone has had a friend be in a mutually destructive relationship, and constantly whine about the unwanted drama in their life, while you sit tight lipped , controlling the goddamning urge to scream at her/him/them for what seems the millionth  time  "Please! For the Love of God! Breakup! You’re not good for each other!"
Right? We’ve all either witnessed such a coupling or experienced it for ourselves, so I know you know what I'm talking about. When it’s apparent to everyone except the couple themselves that they do not love each other. Not in a good way, at least. They may have when they knew nothing about each other, but ever since they did -they didn’t. But somehow, I don't know what it is that every new dawn, or every night sky brings that they decide to give it another go, because deep down they know they're "meant for each other". They're not. Despite their tremendous efforts it’s still a sinking ship. You know it. Her friends know it. His friends know it. The birds even know it yaar. Everyone, even they themselves feel it, but the problem is that they feel so many different things that it all becomes a little muddy. The simplest option is to try, yet again.
I kinda feel that Pakistan and the US are in the same boat.
Seriously. Every time one party ducks up, or the other does indulges in yet another asshole-ish activity, you think seriously? Still? Like its not even new anymore. It’s the same. Same old issues that have been haunting the union from the cursed beginning. I've literally grown up to the background of this horrible, never ending, can't-live-with-you-can't-live-without-you relationship. It’s been a terrible influence. Haven't they had enough? Why do helpless citizens have to pay for their strong sadomasochistic inclinations?
They didn't even have a honeymoon period (not really) which is an essential right of every relationship-no matter how sucky it’s going to be in the future. What does that say? I mean that's got to be a sign. And it’s not a good one.
Its like this hot girl (US) started flirting shamelessly with this non-assuming, conservative, seedha boy  with potentially useful connections (Pak) , duped him into getting married with a fake pregnancy scare, and a marriage ultimatum, thinking she'll mold  him into the man she wants him to be and never ended up succeeding, at least not like she expected. In fact it kind of backfired. The relationship was doomed from the start.  The girl always found ways to screw over the guy , and somehow make it as though it was his own fault. He drove her to it, she claimed. The boy, submissive at first, later decided ---- her I'm going to get back at her, she's using me. But these were all internal feelings that were never vocalized or mediated upon. The whole world knew it’s a sham, but somehow they managed to fool themselves into thinking that they are successfully keeping up the pretense when they would profess their love for each other, despite all the hardships and the relationship’s many shortcomings. There came periods of sincere/non-sincere (it’s hard to tell now, it’s been so long) efforts from both parties to try and make it work but failed each time. The girl became more and more precarious about her betrayals, increasingly vocal to her friends about him being a mistake. He started telling her off, which he never used to and doing things as he pleased. Sometimes even indulging in questionable moves himself, just to remind himself that he is after all a man, all the while making the girl think that he was trying to do his best to make all her wishes come true. Basically they really messed with each others head.
Mind gaming like you were back in high school.
The Osama debacle was the relationship equivalent of  the guy having known the truth about the girl all along, and not only  indulging in extra-marital affairs at every chance he got  ( as the girl had been suspecting for a while), but even harboring an illegitimate son, and claiming that he never knew that he was the father. That it was as much a shock for him as it was for her, despite having a father-son bond with the child that he had been told was his lover's son from a previous tryst.
All this, after telling the girl that he had no desire to be a father, because he didn't have the paternal instinct in him.
The son lived two streets away and apparently the guy never knew that he was his own offspring. Potentially possible, highly doubtable, and unconditionally irredeemable.
So over-night the screwed became the screw-ee. The tables turned. The guy was now perceived to be the evilest incarnation of evil that had existed. Some defended him, but the girl capitalized on every moment to fling mud on his face. The girl after years of victimizing, adopted the role of the saint, the betrayed. Yet she didn't leave him.
She played her cards well.
All this until recently, when another one of her multitude of promiscuities made the media rounds again. She had screwed up again, and due to the former humiliation the boy had suffered because of her going public with his bastard's existence he decided that he won't let this go easily.
Too much bitterness. Too many suppressed feelings of anger, hurt and resentment towards all the things they thought they would accomplish and they didn't. Once upon a time, maybe at the beginning of beginnings they had experienced the wonderful unknowingness of what might come. Despite all their differences, they might find a common ground. They didn’t. Too much time wasted. Nothing to show for it, except the loss of an entire lifetime. Its time they both let go. Decide to really listen to the universe and realize, that this is not good for either of them. Of both the two parties, one is more screwed than the other, but that doesn't mean that the less-screwed party is a winner by any stretch of the imagination. Understand this. I may have put this in very simple terms, and left out so much of what has happened, but the bottom line is that neither party is happy. They haven’t been in a long time, and have become disillusioned with the whole idea as a result.
Be civilized, try to be as kind as you can be in this period of transition .I don't expect this breakup to not be dirty (because so few of them are), but try and be the best you can be.
And don’t stalk each other on facebook.
Trust me, this is for your own good.


  1. You're forgetting one thing. The hot girl in this case is also the daughter of the richest and most politically influential dude in town. and she's the bread-winner in this relationship........
    no pani

  2. M you need to make a Twitter account asap.

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  4. Haha, 'M'? Who is this? Reveal yourself! Am so curious.